Published in Family Dynamics
Erin Berenz
Trauma Psychologist / Cofounder of Rebound
December 7, 2024
The Rebound Holiday Survival Guide
Navigating one of the toughest times of year as a trauma survivor
The holidays are painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for trauma survivors, this season can stir up a storm of emotions that are hard to navigate.
Maybe you’re grieving the family dynamic you wish you had. Perhaps being around certain people dredges up old wounds you thought you’d left behind. Or maybe the constant pressure to be cheerful feels suffocating, leaving you disconnected and emotionally drained.
The truth is, the holidays can be tough—but they don’t have to be impossible. With intention and compassion, you can build a season that prioritizes your peace and well-being.
What Makes the Holidays So Difficult for Trauma Survivors?
The holiday season often brings:
Triggers: Old arguments, toxic dynamics, or even certain traditions can bring up painful memories.
Unrealistic Expectations: Societal pressure to have a “perfect holiday” can make you feel like you’re falling short.
Grief: You might mourn what you’ve lost—whether it’s a loved one, a relationship, or the family bond you never had.
Overstimulation: Crowded gatherings, constant socializing, and an influx of sensory inputs can overwhelm your nervous system.
Guilt: Setting boundaries or skipping events can lead to feelings of shame, especially when others don’t understand your needs.
These challenges are real, but they don’t mean the holidays are doomed. Instead, they’re an opportunity to practice showing up for yourself in meaningful ways.
Here are 8 ways to support yourself this holiday season.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The holidays can bring up a mix of emotions—grief, anger, nostalgia, even numbness. Instead of pushing those feelings aside, allow yourself to recognize and validate them. It’s okay to not feel “merry and bright” every moment.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re a way of protecting your energy. Decide ahead of time how much time you’ll spend at gatherings, what topics you won’t discuss, and who you’ll prioritize seeing.
3. Reimagine Traditions
If certain traditions feel more painful than joyful, let them go. Create new rituals that feel grounding and meaningful to you. Maybe that’s watching your favorite movie, taking a long walk, or cooking a meal you love.
4. Lean on Your Support System
Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and seen. This might be chosen family, close friends, or even an online community of trauma survivors who understand your experience.
5. Practice Somatic Grounding
The holidays can put your nervous system into overdrive. Incorporate small somatic exercises—like deep breathing, stretching, or grounding yourself through touch—to help bring your body back to a state of calm.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Say No
You don’t have to say yes to every invitation. Skipping events or opting out of conversations isn’t a failure; it’s a way to prioritize your well-being.
7. Focus on One Small Joy Each Day
The holidays don’t have to be big or extravagant to matter. Find one small thing that brings you joy each day, whether it’s sipping your favorite tea, playing music you love, or spending time with a pet.
8. Consider Reprocessing Old Trauma
If this time of year brings up emotions or memories that feel too heavy to carry, it might be a sign that it’s time to address those wounds. Reprocessing trauma, whether through therapy, somatic practices, or supportive tools like the Rebound app, can help you move forward with greater clarity and ease.
Reclaiming the Holidays on Your Terms
For trauma survivors, the holidays aren’t about forcing yourself to fit into someone else’s version of “perfect.” They’re about showing up for yourself with honesty, care, and intention.
It’s okay to grieve what was lost or what never was. It’s okay to set boundaries and say no. And it’s okay to choose a quieter, simpler season if that’s what you need.
Every small act of care—every boundary you set, every moment of rest you allow—is a step toward reclaiming the holidays on your own terms. And if this is the season where you decide to heal old wounds, know that there’s support available to help you take that step, whenever you’re ready.
The holidays are painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for trauma survivors, this season can stir up a storm of emotions that are hard to navigate.
Maybe you’re grieving the family dynamic you wish you had. Perhaps being around certain people dredges up old wounds you thought you’d left behind. Or maybe the constant pressure to be cheerful feels suffocating, leaving you disconnected and emotionally drained.
The truth is, the holidays can be tough—but they don’t have to be impossible. With intention and compassion, you can build a season that prioritizes your peace and well-being.
What Makes the Holidays So Difficult for Trauma Survivors?
The holiday season often brings:
Triggers: Old arguments, toxic dynamics, or even certain traditions can bring up painful memories.
Unrealistic Expectations: Societal pressure to have a “perfect holiday” can make you feel like you’re falling short.
Grief: You might mourn what you’ve lost—whether it’s a loved one, a relationship, or the family bond you never had.
Overstimulation: Crowded gatherings, constant socializing, and an influx of sensory inputs can overwhelm your nervous system.
Guilt: Setting boundaries or skipping events can lead to feelings of shame, especially when others don’t understand your needs.
These challenges are real, but they don’t mean the holidays are doomed. Instead, they’re an opportunity to practice showing up for yourself in meaningful ways.
Here are 8 ways to support yourself this holiday season.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The holidays can bring up a mix of emotions—grief, anger, nostalgia, even numbness. Instead of pushing those feelings aside, allow yourself to recognize and validate them. It’s okay to not feel “merry and bright” every moment.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re a way of protecting your energy. Decide ahead of time how much time you’ll spend at gatherings, what topics you won’t discuss, and who you’ll prioritize seeing.
3. Reimagine Traditions
If certain traditions feel more painful than joyful, let them go. Create new rituals that feel grounding and meaningful to you. Maybe that’s watching your favorite movie, taking a long walk, or cooking a meal you love.
4. Lean on Your Support System
Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and seen. This might be chosen family, close friends, or even an online community of trauma survivors who understand your experience.
5. Practice Somatic Grounding
The holidays can put your nervous system into overdrive. Incorporate small somatic exercises—like deep breathing, stretching, or grounding yourself through touch—to help bring your body back to a state of calm.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Say No
You don’t have to say yes to every invitation. Skipping events or opting out of conversations isn’t a failure; it’s a way to prioritize your well-being.
7. Focus on One Small Joy Each Day
The holidays don’t have to be big or extravagant to matter. Find one small thing that brings you joy each day, whether it’s sipping your favorite tea, playing music you love, or spending time with a pet.
8. Consider Reprocessing Old Trauma
If this time of year brings up emotions or memories that feel too heavy to carry, it might be a sign that it’s time to address those wounds. Reprocessing trauma, whether through therapy, somatic practices, or supportive tools like the Rebound app, can help you move forward with greater clarity and ease.
Reclaiming the Holidays on Your Terms
For trauma survivors, the holidays aren’t about forcing yourself to fit into someone else’s version of “perfect.” They’re about showing up for yourself with honesty, care, and intention.
It’s okay to grieve what was lost or what never was. It’s okay to set boundaries and say no. And it’s okay to choose a quieter, simpler season if that’s what you need.
Every small act of care—every boundary you set, every moment of rest you allow—is a step toward reclaiming the holidays on your own terms. And if this is the season where you decide to heal old wounds, know that there’s support available to help you take that step, whenever you’re ready.
The holidays are painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for trauma survivors, this season can stir up a storm of emotions that are hard to navigate.
Maybe you’re grieving the family dynamic you wish you had. Perhaps being around certain people dredges up old wounds you thought you’d left behind. Or maybe the constant pressure to be cheerful feels suffocating, leaving you disconnected and emotionally drained.
The truth is, the holidays can be tough—but they don’t have to be impossible. With intention and compassion, you can build a season that prioritizes your peace and well-being.
What Makes the Holidays So Difficult for Trauma Survivors?
The holiday season often brings:
Triggers: Old arguments, toxic dynamics, or even certain traditions can bring up painful memories.
Unrealistic Expectations: Societal pressure to have a “perfect holiday” can make you feel like you’re falling short.
Grief: You might mourn what you’ve lost—whether it’s a loved one, a relationship, or the family bond you never had.
Overstimulation: Crowded gatherings, constant socializing, and an influx of sensory inputs can overwhelm your nervous system.
Guilt: Setting boundaries or skipping events can lead to feelings of shame, especially when others don’t understand your needs.
These challenges are real, but they don’t mean the holidays are doomed. Instead, they’re an opportunity to practice showing up for yourself in meaningful ways.
Here are 8 ways to support yourself this holiday season.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The holidays can bring up a mix of emotions—grief, anger, nostalgia, even numbness. Instead of pushing those feelings aside, allow yourself to recognize and validate them. It’s okay to not feel “merry and bright” every moment.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re a way of protecting your energy. Decide ahead of time how much time you’ll spend at gatherings, what topics you won’t discuss, and who you’ll prioritize seeing.
3. Reimagine Traditions
If certain traditions feel more painful than joyful, let them go. Create new rituals that feel grounding and meaningful to you. Maybe that’s watching your favorite movie, taking a long walk, or cooking a meal you love.
4. Lean on Your Support System
Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and seen. This might be chosen family, close friends, or even an online community of trauma survivors who understand your experience.
5. Practice Somatic Grounding
The holidays can put your nervous system into overdrive. Incorporate small somatic exercises—like deep breathing, stretching, or grounding yourself through touch—to help bring your body back to a state of calm.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Say No
You don’t have to say yes to every invitation. Skipping events or opting out of conversations isn’t a failure; it’s a way to prioritize your well-being.
7. Focus on One Small Joy Each Day
The holidays don’t have to be big or extravagant to matter. Find one small thing that brings you joy each day, whether it’s sipping your favorite tea, playing music you love, or spending time with a pet.
8. Consider Reprocessing Old Trauma
If this time of year brings up emotions or memories that feel too heavy to carry, it might be a sign that it’s time to address those wounds. Reprocessing trauma, whether through therapy, somatic practices, or supportive tools like the Rebound app, can help you move forward with greater clarity and ease.
Reclaiming the Holidays on Your Terms
For trauma survivors, the holidays aren’t about forcing yourself to fit into someone else’s version of “perfect.” They’re about showing up for yourself with honesty, care, and intention.
It’s okay to grieve what was lost or what never was. It’s okay to set boundaries and say no. And it’s okay to choose a quieter, simpler season if that’s what you need.
Every small act of care—every boundary you set, every moment of rest you allow—is a step toward reclaiming the holidays on your own terms. And if this is the season where you decide to heal old wounds, know that there’s support available to help you take that step, whenever you’re ready.
About Rebound
Rebound is an app designed to help you recover after trauma. It was built by trauma survivors and psychologists to help your brain and body get out of Survival Mode.
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